Hey everyone, and welcome to Mommy Monday! I started this blog because I wanted to share my own personal experiences and all of that goes along with, while I transition to mommy-hood . Like any other new mom, we try to read all about the things we don’t know, and soak in the advice from those that have had little ones (LO) before us! As I read all about safeguarding my baby from his first winter to diaper rashes, it was evident that some things just comes to you along the way! Here are 7 things, (of course there are MORE) that no one really tells you when you are becoming a new mommy.
1.When you’re pregnant you have options of getting a doula, midwife, or having a home pregnancy
When I first found out I was pregnant, I was extremely nervous and happy! I immediately began calling all of my family and telling my close friends. I just could not believe I was having a baby. When I started my search for care, it never crossed my mind that I wasn’t going to have my baby in a hospital. It just didn’t. Birthing a baby is such personal journey and you actually have a few different choices when it comes to who you want your advocate to be. Chad and I decided on a midwife, but because I was late to knowing much about a doula, I couldn’t make that choice. Read about them all and make the decision based on your personal preferences.
2. You have to get your own schedule-routine down 1st
There will so many people that offer advice on when to get your baby out of the house and when to keep him/her inside. I have heard both sides of this, and I honestly have to say “Get your own schedule down first!”. Take the time to figure your baby out. What works for you when the baby is so fussy and you are extremely tired? What happens when you start to notice NEW behavior, and you feel like you are unsure of what to do? First thing I did was take a deep breath and (semi) relaxed. I knew that ultimately I would be the one caring for my little on a daily basis, so figuring out my methods and tricks were a must. One to note was having multiple sleep options for baby. We used a rock n play, a baby swing, a portable bassinet, a rocker, arms reach and co slept. Allowing the baby options seriously helped us, and baby get sleep where ever he was most comfy. Do what’s best for you!
3. Don’t fix it if it isn’t broken
When I started breastfeeding, it was extremely difficult to finish a feeding, burp the baby, and then get him back to sleep immediately. It just didn’t work the first week. Luckily, my mom came and stayed with us for an entire week, and she helped tremendously. Mastering the side laying feeding position was like hitting the lotto! When CJ is extremely fussy and just doesn’t want to sleep, it is my for sure go to that allows both us peace, sleep, and quiet bonding time. For now, it works (for us) and will continue to be our go to. I kept hearing about all of the things NOT to do, and I was so relieved when ONE person told me “Hey, if it works, keep at it. do not mind all of the other stuff”.
4. Meal prep before baby arrives (or ask family to send food)
OK, after the baby, I’ve heard all of the amazing recovery stories, body snap backs, no pain deliveries etc. BUT not once have I heard these moms tell me about the pain. NOT a freaking single one. Let’s be real. Your organs are relocated, your skin is stretched, and for Gods sake, you are HAVING A HUMAN BEING! lol Something this amazing does not come without pain. (I am not talking about the moms that truly believe they felt no pain. You are a unicorn. Be happy and move on) I am speaking to those of us that may have high tolerances for pain, but truly understand that after the baby is delivered, you have an open wound for about 6 weeks. Yes, your body is open (or scarred from surgery if you had c-section) and is not 100% back to normal.
During this time, PREPPED MEALS BECAME THE BEST THING IN THE ENTIRE WORLD! My husbands family really helped in this department and I was so grateful. Man, it was so amazing to have some good food already ready to go. I also was fortunate enough to join a local Mommy Group, which had a meal train. The moms showed up and showed out with some pretty amazing meals for an entire week! I would encourage all new moms to find one in your local community and
5.Go with what feels right
This is going to be such a hard thing to do, especially when there will be a ton of evidence both FOR and AGAINST almost every topic. Sometimes doing what feels right for you, will lead a lot of people searching and looking for everything against it. Listen to it. With open ears, commit to hearing both sides and cases and then, make up your mind, My particular parenting style included bed sharing and co sleeping with my son. From birth, I had my son extremely close to me and knew that this was such a hot topic. Just remember that parenting is so personal and should be each individuals right to do as they please.
6. Ask other moms questions
There is no harm in asking others questions. There are tons of people than can offer up some amazing advice and some people that will understand there is no right answer. Just be weary of those only asking questions to be nosey and in your business. Seasoned moms knows that certain topics are controversial and would not dare try to appear to know it all. I found that asking questions allowed me to determine for myself, moms that are non-judgmental and those to steer clear from.
7. Be your child’s advocate
This has to be the “DUH Kiarah” fact when it comes to new moms, but sometimes it is NOT at all clear. Of course being your child’s advocate is important, but teaching them confidence, school lessons, strength, good behavior, good eating habits, hygiene, manners etc must be constantly reinforced. Advocate for your parenting style, and do not let someone else negatively shape your child. Always make sure you pull out the good in them. Because there is nothing worse than teaching your child good, then being slighted or undermined by others.
Thanks for taking the time to read my first Mommy Monday Post! My goal is get some conversations going with other moms. I love being a mom I am going to love sharing stories here while I bake and watch my little baby grow.
What are some other things you would add to the list for mew moms?